Couple and Relationship Counseling
When couples make an appointment there are usually several themes that keep recirculating in their relationship. Often the presenting issue is identified as communication problems. What does this mean? Generally, there are conflicts that keep persisting such that a pattern of verbal arguing becomes the norm. This becomes very stressful because there are put downs, yelling, hurt feelings and extreme emotional confrontations. The result is that both people can be become emotionally defended (protecting their vulnerability) and emotional distance is the result instead of the trust that maintains connectedness. Why might this keep happening? That is what we work on together to find out. Here are some possible reasons: Unresolved hurts and resentments When one person carries a negative experience from a past relationship Alcohol or other drugs become problematic for one or both people When one person has an affair Poor interpersonal boundaries When one person is perceived as controlling by the other If you want to keep your relationship you must do the work to sit with the tension and sort things out. If you want to end the relationship you must do the work to sit with the tension and sort thing out. Either way, having the courage to say what is true for you enables the positive change you desire. What do you want? Posted on July 7, 2013 Howard Brockman, LCSW offers Relationship and Marriage Counseling in Salem,...
Read MoreWhy Counseling?
Counseling and psychotherapy is really all about becoming successful. Let me give you some examples. If a person suffers from test anxiety and mentally freezes up during an exam, there is usually an underlying belief that is sabotaging good test results. Why was this belief generated, and how did it become persistent? The job of a good therapist is to find out and help the client to change this so the person becomes successful. If a person cannot sustain a loving and mutually respectful adult relationship, there are usually underlying beliefs accompanied by some negative or traumatic experiences that are reinforcing the limiting beliefs sabotaging his or her relationships. Perhaps the person’s parents were always fighting and the person made a decision that he or she would never want to be in that kind of a relationship. Or perhaps the person was told repeatedly when growing up that he or she was stupid or in some way not good enough to be loved by another. The therapist’s job is to collaborate with the client to be detectives and uncover the core underlying limiting belief(s) and then determine if there were any traumatic events associated with and responsible for the limiting beliefs. Once uncovered, there are many different and proven approaches to change the underlying limiting beliefs and eliminate any associated negative emotional charge. I want you to know that you can be successful in any area of your life. It is only necessary to be clear about your goals. Once you are clear, you can begin to focus on a successful outcome and positive change will happen. Posted on July 3, 2013 Howard Brockman,...
Read MoreAbout Me
Howard Brockman, LCSW is a psychotherapist who has been in private practice for 32-years. He is a Diplomate in Clinical Social Work and The Association of Comprehensive Energy Psychology. He has a master’s degree in Social Ethics/Religious Studies from the University of Southern California and a master’s degree in Social Work from Portland State University. Read More... 
