When couples make an appointment there are usually several themes that keep recirculating in their relationship. Often the presenting issue is identified as communication problems. What does this mean?
Generally, there are conflicts that keep persisting such that a pattern of verbal arguing becomes the norm. This becomes very stressful because there are put downs, yelling, hurt feelings and extreme emotional confrontations. The result is that both people can be become emotionally defended (protecting their vulnerability) and emotional distance is the result instead of the trust that maintains connectedness. Why might this keep happening?
That is what we work on together to find out. Here are some possible reasons:
- Unresolved hurts and resentments
- When one person carries a negative experience from a past relationship
- Alcohol or other drugs become problematic for one or both people
- When one person has an affair
- Poor interpersonal boundaries
- When one person is perceived as controlling by the other
If you want to keep your relationship you must do the work to sit with the tension and sort things out.
If you want to end the relationship you must do the work to sit with the tension and sort thing out.
Either way, having the courage to say what is true for you enables the positive change you desire.
What do you want?
Posted on July 7, 2013
Howard Brockman, LCSW offers Relationship and Marriage Counseling in Salem, Oregon.
Howard Brockman
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About Me
Howard Brockman, LCSW is a psychotherapist who has been in private practice for 32-years. He is a Diplomate in Clinical Social Work and The Association of Comprehensive Energy Psychology. He has a master’s degree in Social Ethics/Religious Studies from the University of Southern California and a master’s degree in Social Work from Portland State University. Read More... 
