Couples, Relationship & Marriage Counseling in Salem Oregon

Resolving Relationship Issues and Marriage Counseling in Salem Oregon

One of the primary reasons that people come to therapy is because of their relationships. Many people are aware of carrying old hurt, anger and resentment because of what has happened in the past with another person. Many people find it extremely difficult to forgive someone who treated them disrespectfully and even abusively. Holding on to resentments can persist for decades, carrying grudges and anger about the way people treated you when you were growing up. Abusive, controlling and even neglectful relationships and marriages cause all sorts of unhappiness that frequently carry over into adult life. When people find that their current adult relationships continue to be frustrating and unsuccessful, it is frequently the case that they are reenacting the same types of relationships that were most difficult for them when growing up in their family. Everyone just wants to be loved and appreciated but often discover that true emotional intimacy, which means being able to tell the truth and ask for what you want, feels very threatening. Why? Because in the past when we dared to ask for what we wanted, we may have gotten hurt, rejected or shamed. One way people compensate from being hurt again is to habitually defend themselves by not allowing that vulnerability to be openly expressed. As a consequence, the deep emotional intimacy that we all strive for ends up becoming compromised.

People frequently don’t think about this, but when their relationships have become impossible and somebody suggests they try out therapy or couples or marriage counseling, it’s an amazing experience when the light bulb finally goes on and there’s that recognition that they’re replaying an old but familiar pattern that guarantees just more of the same. Frustrating interpersonal communication is often the presenting symptom that the current relationship has to change. Relationship issues can be addressed in individual therapy or in couple counseling or marriage counseling. While it may feel threatening at times to process old hurts and angry feelings with your partner, couple and marriage counseling paves the way for the possibility of not just getting back on track with your partner, but reconnecting with yourself in a way that feels authentic and real. Feel free to give me a call to talk about your relationships if you would like some help with couples and marriage counseling in Salem, Oregon. My number is 503-370-4546.